(I’m not sure where to go with this splotch of thoughts that keeps whirling around in my brain. So you can mark what follows as the kind of musing that stays around until it makes sense or invites action. This blog’s blob: Dysfunction that spreads.)
I’ve seems lately that dysfunctions and dysfunctional people are cropping up everywhere. (My working definition: There are things/people/ideas/ways of behaving that just don’t work, and they eventually make things worse.) This brings me to wonder what happens as these discombobulations spread farther—past our abilities to deal with them effectively.
Examples come to mind: The cantankerous elder who refuses to leave her barely livable home; angrily ranting politicians; hyper-focused activists; vengeful victims; single-minded worriers or love-starved narcissists. Dysfunctional family members can be like relational black holes—they draw most things around them into the dark whirlpool of inescapable difficulties that they have created. In each case, what’s not going well can balloon into all-consuming behavior patterns.
It occurs to me that most dysfunctions first present themselves as tendrils—life-seeking rootlets—that spread like rhizomes through the soil of human relationships. Nothing to worry about, it seems. “We can handle these folks or situations with wisdom,” we say to ourselves. “We’re caring people and love conquers all.” We may eventually realize, though, how the small dysfunctions have gathered together to become virtually unsolvable or unstoppable.
Those of us who care about our world may be overwhelmed by these phenomena, maybe even alarmed. Without knowing it, we might be standing in the places where the dysfunctions are heading next. We could get drawn into relationships or situations from which there is no escape. We might fight, flee, freeze or fawn, but these societal impairments aren’t going away.
To be honest, I don’t know the answers to this matter, but I think I’m correct in naming this as a troubling phenomenon. One thing I am certain about is that those of us who are older may have a specific, healing role here.
You knew that was coming, right?
(To receive these entries when they are posted, go to the upper right-hand corner of the top banner and click on the three dots or parallel lines. Scroll down to the subscription form and enter your information.)
