We older adults have likely faced enough of life’s circumstances to be able to deal maturely with our emotions. This attribute might make us especially valuable in helping younger congregation members gather around themselves the life skills necessary to handle their emotions wisely.
Our capabilities for emotional regulation could be a valuable help for what’s troubling our society right now: The stresses of contemporary life may be overwhelming for children, teens and young adults. Rates of depression and suicide among these age cohorts are rising. Social media interactions seem to have become the primary—and less effectual—means by which social intelligence is learned and practiced. Because human brains are not fully formed until about age 25, younger age cohorts don’t always have the capacity to regulate—understand and control—their positive and negative emotional states of mind.
Our congregations may be places where young and old get to know each other in mutually beneficial ways. How might that happen? Within any event, program or interaction that includes pleasing conversations—emotionally honest exchanges nesting inside real-life stories and hard questions. Listening appreciatively to each other, older adults, teens and children could learn—and relearn—how to weather the stresses of our lives. Not always perfectly, but well enough to approach our coming years with calmer perspectives about life’s vicissitudes.
We elders would benefit, from the satisfaction of passing on important life lessons and modeling useful lives. We might sharpen our relational skills and find new friendships—perhaps in seemingly unlikely places. Our sense of hope about the future might increase. Our appreciation and admiration of the coming generations could grow.
This seems like a simple thing, at its heart the kind of witnessing and sharing that could become the core of our society’s renewal!
*Thanks to family therapist Henrieta Ribeiro for calling attention to this useful idea. Henrieta is also one of the partners in Intentional Energy 3 (https://www.intentionalenergy3.com ), a faith-based consulting team who enliven congregational and business leaders with fresh perspectives.
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