Field Notes: Quantifying elderhood

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(I’ve noticed that much of what I have seen and heard beyond this computer screen is encased in numerical certainty, realities surrounded and proven by numerals. Not wanting these later years of my life to go unnoticed, I have resolved to verify my worth with numbers. I anticipate this to be a noble effort….)

One perhaps disappointing element about some older adults’ past-professional days are that the outcomes of our now-retired daily efforts are hard to count. For example, how do you measure the worth of a post-lunch snooze in centimeters? Or what’s the numerical quotient for calculating conversational depth?

This can be bothersome, especially for those of us whose working lives were sometimes enmeshed in numbers. To counter this obvious lack of societal approbation for elderhood, let me share some personal factoids that I have gleaned during my daily meanderings….

  • Average number of daily naps: 1.476
  • Dollars spent on coffee conversations per week: $14.32 USD
  • Miles walked on an uneven surface per month: 65.1
  • Days of the week ending in “Y” (Depending on one’s native language): 7, 3 or 0
  • Weight loss during the previous election cycle: 4 hectares
  • Sweat volume per each Golden Galumpers® exercise class: .21 liters
  • Number of political candidates or organizations that asked for personal contributions: 45
  • Family Christmas newsletter recipients: 200+
  • Average shoe size: 9 ½ D
  • Number of written words per FullofYears blog entry: 300
  • Minutes of personal meditation time per month: 2,650
  • Score on recent Memory Study scale: 4.9 (+-9%)
  • Heart rate: Yes.

As you can readily see, my days as a retired worker have yielded undeniable numerical evidence that I, too, am contributing towards the greater good. I take great satisfaction in knowing that I have been a good steward of all that is quantifiable.

I hope now that I am worthy of your __________.

 

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About the author

Bob Sitze

BOB SITZE has filled the many years of his lifework in diverse settings around the United States. His calling has included careers as a teacher/principal, church musician, writer/author, denominational executive staff member and meat worker. Bob lives in Wheaton, IL.

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By Bob Sitze

Bob Sitze

BOB SITZE has filled the many years of his lifework in diverse settings around the United States. His calling has included careers as a teacher/principal, church musician, writer/author, denominational executive staff member and meat worker. Bob lives in Wheaton, IL.

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