The number of *lapses in my life seems to be increasing: Breaks in attention, small mistakes, bumpy intuition, sometimes-faulty logic or slightly flawed decision-making. Perhaps this is the stuff of age-related cognitive decline, but more likely it’s the result of the stress and anxiety I have experienced these past few years.
Whatever the causes, the effects require attention. So I’ve revisited some personal practices that might help me cut down on lapsed behaviors. Those thoughts fill the space that follows…
Admit what’s happening.
Any strategy to minimize relational hiccups requires an attitude shift that cultivates dependence, deference and honesty. Other helpful character traits: Civility towards and appreciation for everyone I encounter.
Double-check.
“Look both ways before crossing” can be my mantra for verifying information, quieting impulsiveness and reviewing the possible consequences of any decision.
Slow down.
I can linger awhile in thought processes so that more parts of my brain can ensure perceptions and guide actions.
Empathize fully.
Putting myself in the place—or mind—of others can show deep respect for their self-image. “How does it feel to be like him/her in this situation?” is always a good question to help me avoid errors in judgement about anyone else.
Listen beyond hearing.
A prerequisite to empathy, deep-listening can engage my whole being. This strategy is about more than accuracy, hearing with my soul in order to know the soulful feelings of others.
Practice humility.
The edges of my mental acuity aren’t that sharp these days—I have to admit that honestly. “So if you think you are standing, watch out that you do not fall.” (1 Corinthians 10:12 NRSV)
Seek advice.
I can request help from those close at hand, look for the guidance of Scripture and prayer, and root my thoughts in the counsel of those who are wiser than I am.
A lapse-filled life doesn’t appeal to me, nor does it show care and love for those around me. The strategies here may help keep me from the blunders that might diminish their quality of life—something I hope never to cause.
* The word originates in several Latinate etymologies, the most intriguing coming from lapsare, “to lose one’s footing,” hence “slipping or falling.” The richness of its several meanings suggest that this phenomenon has been a part of the human condition for eons.
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