This blog is the fourth entry in a series exploring the ideals and behaviors of bullies. The subject seems important right now, and it’s definitely weighing on my spirit. Today another personal matter: How bullying seems futile.
Here’s something I don’t get about bullies: What do they hope to accomplish, big picture? And do they really think that’s possible? Bullying doesn’t make sense—it feels futile and probably doesn’t end well. Whether as individuals or groups, bullies can’t get what they most want for the long haul: Generalized acceptance, agreement, admiration or obedience.
If you’re a bully, intimidating, coercing or controlling an entire population over a long time is hard work. Too many details. There are more non-bullies than people like you.
Other futile dead-ends for bullies…
They’re going to get pushback, some of it forceful or even violent. They have to stoke their paranoia constantly, so that they’re ready for people seeking revenge or recompense.
As they harm more and more people, bullies may become isolated from those same people, trapped into a kind of loneliness that perhaps only despots know.
Bullying behaviors and attitudes—e.g, rage/hate—don’t stimulate good health. Bullying is a high-stress way of living, contributing to conditions like high blood pressure, increased risk for heart attack and stroke, depression, immune disorders and accelerated aging.
Bully-connected groups have trouble remaining unified. What brings them together also contributes to their breaking apart. Think about it—intolerance of others, the need to be obeyed, jealousy or arrogance don’t strengthen relationships within a group.
Here’s one idea easily missed: The older bullies get, the harder it may be to get what they want. When their physical, emotional and intellectual capabilities diminish—trust me, they will!— bullying power wanes. If someone’s an older bully, the toll on their mind and body may become overwhelming. They might get bullied themselves!
So here’s what I want to know: Once a bully has figured out that bullying doesn’t work in the long run, what then…?
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